Letter to a Daughter at Thirteen and "Poems for My Sons" discussion questions

1.  In Kingsolver's 'Letter to a Daughter at Thirteen' she discussed the use of diaries/journals on pg. 145 and states "My diaries, whose first pages threatened dire punishment for anyone who snooped into them, would actually have slain any trespasser with pure boredom: I resolved with stupefying regularity to be good enough, better loved, happier.  I looked high and low for the causes of my failure."  how does this relate back to the piece 'Talking Back' by Bell Hooks and why do you think females in general use diaries as a place of self loathing?

2.  On pg. 149 of Kingsolver's piece she states "That was my first real lesson as a mother- realizing that you could be different from me and it wouldn't make me less of a person."  Do you believe that society judges a mother's worth as individuals based on the actions of their children.  If you are a female without any children could people see you as less worthy?

3.  Kingsolver writes on pg. 150, "I recognized that when you were in preschool, learning how to be social: having feuds with girlfriends, then forgiving or sometimes moving on.  One week they'd shun you, the next week you were queen bee while somebody else suffered.  It tore me to pieces to watch but I knew it couldn't save you.  You were saving yourself, slowly."  This quote references to a very prevalent issue dealing with Helicopter moms.  Are helicopter moms a negative, positive or neutral influence on a child's life and why?

4.  On pg. 151 Kingsolver states, "Boys want only one thing, which is to have sex with you, which is too nasty even to talk about, and it's your job to prevent it.  They're also stronger than you and likely can do what they want, but if they succeed in raping you it's your fault, actually, because it was your job to avoid getting yourself into a position where you couldn't stop it."  This quote brings up the issue of 'slut-shaming'.  Do you believe that media plays into the stigma that the victim is the one to blame?

5.  Minnie Bruce Pratt grew up in a racially, segregated town in Alabama.  Do you believe that played a role in her coming out as a Lesbian so late in her life?

6.  Line 45 in Pratt's 'Poem for My Sons' she writes to her sons hoping "That you'll never ask for the weather, earth, angels, women, or other lives to obey you; that you'll remember me who crossed recrossed you,"  this connects to Kingsolver's quote on pg. 157 "To say they run the world just doesn't cover it, because we do too, in our less material way."  Both writers address the issue of the possessive male stereotype.  Do you think by Kingsolver and Pratt addressing this, that they are taking a risk by being so open?  And why do you think they are addressing this?

- Jennifer Scofield and Emma Phillips